Happy summer! Summer brings fires. Fire like conflict is natural. Fires and conflict have the potential to grow from small brush fires and disagreements into infernos and all out wars.

Conflict like fires are meant to be managed. Unless there is a brush fire policy about managing disagreements they like fires will just naturally grow. Marriages, nonprofit organizations, school districts, churches and people in politics are especially vulnerable to disagreements. Wouldn’t it be great if all forest fires or conflicts could be managed to just stay small brush fires and burn out? We can see this happen. How?

We all need to be part of a brush fire policy. This is an agreed-upon way that when major disagreement shows itself, we can use the policy to keep the small verbal fire from growing into an inferno. I give two examples.

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We all need to be part of a brush fire policy. This is an agreed-upon way that when major disagreement shows itself, we can use the policy to keep the small verbal fire from growing into an inferno.

First, do you have a brush fire policy in regards to your marriage? As part of our marriage vows, Maureen and I have words about how we work out our disagreements respectively. Is this what you have for your marriage?

Secondly, I now address you pastors or you who are part of a church. Does your church have a brush fire policy? Let’s face it, disagreements like fires can happen anywhere. Have a mutually agreed upon policy as to how you as a pastor and church will manage brush fire disagreements. For example, the churches I pastored all agreed that certain elected spiritual leaders and I were authorized by the church upon seeing people in major disagreements to call all involved into a sit-down meeting. Usually, it was I as pastor who would call warring parties together. Be honest, respectful and lovingly real with the goal being forgiveness leading to reconciliation. Over 45 years I was part of 23 brush fire incidents. Out of these, in 20 incidents all parties involved agreed to with me and listen our way to reconciliation. Through sitting down, we showed the same love Jesus showed when he intervened in the brush fires that developed amongst his disciples. For scriptural reference look at Matthew 18 verses 15-17. To create respectful relationships it’s crucial we see each other modeling what we see Jesus showing us in how he related to those in disagreement.

At the overwhelming majority of the brush fire policy sessions, misunderstandings turned into new insights, anger towards one another turned into compassion, and we discovered how differences could strengthen instead of weaken our unity. Genuinely taking responsibility for our wrong words or actions makes forgiveness and reconciliation much easier.

If interested in conflict resolution words to include in marriage vows or more details about brush fire policies, contact me at PO Box 607 Seaview, 98644. Till next time.