Over and over again, flight attendants say that the most hated question they get asked is “so how about that upgrade?” — popular culture and certain things that airlines may have done decades ago have cemented the persistent idea that flight attendants can give one out at any time if you just ask nicely enough when, in reality, they almost never have the authority.

“We are not allowed to upgrade passengers unless they are paying for an upgrade onboard the aircraft, which actually is pretty pricey!” longtime flight attendant and industry commentator Patricia Green wrote in 2023. “[…] Yes, there might be empty seats, but we are not allowed to give them to you, free of charge.”

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Green is referring to the fact that, over the last decade, airlines have made a push to turn getting a better seat into a separate income stream. Travelers are marketed the chance to switch fare classes both when they book and pay for their tickets and anytime they log in to view flight details. Premium economy, or what airlines generally call seats closer to the front of the plane and with more foot space, are also a way for economy travelers to get a better seat without paying the full fare of a business ticket.

‘This simply never happened at the airline where I worked’

And as a paid service, this is now done almost exclusively prior to the flight or at the limit at the gate prior to the boarding — while check-in and gate agents can check the seating map and sometimes offer a (almost certainly paid) upgrade, flight attendants at most major airlines no longer have such authority even for customers who whip out a credit-card at the last minute.

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“Through the years I heard stories from people about how they got upgraded to business or first class based on their looks or how they were dressed,” Susan Fogwell, who worked with a major airline for 22 years before retiring, told Travel and Leisure magazine. “This simply never happened at the major airline where I worked. If a flight attendant moved a passenger from one class to another, the flight attendant would not have a job for long.”

Still want that upgrade? This is the only trick that may work

The reason for the strictness has to do with the fact that the difference between fare classes can, in some cases, amount to several hundred or even thousands of dollars. Even if first class is not fully booked, airlines will generally leave seats empty in order to not encourage travelers to expect this.

For those who are boarding the flight and peek through the curtain separating first or business class to see that a few seats are available, the best option is to ask a flight attendant if they can pay for an upgrade. Even this always needs to be done before boarding is complete and the plane doors shut since, at that point, flight attendants will no longer even have the right to change a seat even for those offering to pay for them.