Gable and friend now

Community steps up for crabbers

First, the Peninsula knows how to do it! The joy felt by community members present at last Saturday night’s musical extravaganza seemed to radiate all over the harbor. Joel Underwood was the spotlighted performer at a concert benefit for the Ilwaco crabbing fleet. Presented by the Peninsula Arts Center and the Peninsula Players at the River City Playhouse in Ilwaco, it was a full-house of jubilant community boosters. Tiered ticketspriced at $25 general admission, $50 preferred seating, and $100 patron, flooded the coffers to over $6,000.

Chef Nanci Main was there — with a passel of baked goods and a big jar for donations — assisted by cookie-maker and long-time Klipsan resident Teri Kovach. They raised an addition $365 for the crabbers. As Nanci commented “The whole town showed up to support the crabbers who lost all. So much laughter and connection was made even better by fabulous music. Step by step and dollar by dollar our community heals its own.”

If you missed this inspiring event, no worries. There are still lots of ways to help crabbers and their families. The South Pacific County Community Foundation has a special fund to support “fishermen and their families including short term relief and longer-term rebuilding.” (Contribute what you can: tinyurl.com/4tefwhtn.)

The Ilwaco Tuna Club (www.ilwacotunaclub.com) is also a good bet for crabber support donations. Their popular Go Fund Me site is here: www.ilwacotunaclub.com. The amount raised as of this past weekend is an eye-popping $117,000! As they say “Club members have vowed to donate the cost of a tank of fuel for each of our boats. We hope you can donate as much as you can so we can get these guys fishing.”

Pod-mate down

Is every small town as supportive as ours in a crisis? I don’t know, but it’s certain that when the going gets rough around here, we put on our boots and get back to work to support our own. Which was certainly the case when one of our pod-mates needed emergency medical help last week. Not one of our six-member pod hesitated when transport to CMH and some extra hand-holding was needed; though I have to say a dramatic crisis is easier to respond to than a slow-moving disaster.

Crab pots and loading dock on fire — holy smoke! Let’s get crackin’. But losing our elders for lack of social services? An appropriate response is not so clear. Our most recent pod-emergency certainly brought into focus, again, the challenges of aging on the Peninsula.

Many of us elders have been here for decades and love everything about where we live: the wild beauty, the views across the bay or out over the ocean, the close-knit community, the small town traditions like the Loyalty Parade and the Kite Festival, the fresh shellfish, clean air, the unhurried lifestyle, chatting in the grocery store. Most of us are stubborn independent folks who are reluctant to ask for help. (We’re of a generation of bootstrappers for whom problems are not much talked about.) I myself know of two or three elders suffering dementia who should probably not be living alone. But who’s going to be the buttinsky? And, anyway, what would the solution be?

It’s no news to anyone that our medical facilities, though continuing to improve, are not always sufficient for the kinks in the road that appear as we get older (something we elders assiduously hope for!). If we don’t have kids or family close, who do we count on to bring meals by, call in the middle of the night if we fall, or need a ride to a medical exam? And if more serious complications develop, what kind of support can we expect even from close friends. At a certain point — probably different for everyone — the unsavory idea of “being a burden” is just too much to contemplate.

Time to move?

Just a couple weeks ago I spoke to Eugene and Barbara Norcross-Renner about their decision to move to the Terwilliger Plaza — a continuing care retirement community or CCRC — in Portland just down the hill from OHSU (www.terwilligerplaza.com). Barbara shared with me that their ideas developed over many years as they thought through their options.

Portland made sense to them because they had lived there before. (Eugene was a book buyer for Powell’s Books for many years.) So the location was more or less settled. Then, after much research about the Portland living options, the Norcross-Renners chose Terwilliger because it seemed to have the best complement of benefits for them.

CCRCs offer an expanding sequence of care levels depending on what residents need. Generally the care categories are independent living, assisted living, and skilled care nursing. There are many advantages to this kind of living situation — though depending on the particular facility — they can be much more expensive than a regular retirement home. Usually a substantial entry fee is given over up front, then there is a monthly fee based on the size and quality of the living accommodations. Once a commitment is made to a CCRC, you can expect to stay in the facility until you die. And if one member of a couple needs special care while a second does not, at least both partners remain in the same facility, though perhaps in different living units.

Not all CCRCs work the same, and there is a broad range of quality. Terwilliger seems a particularly well-managed facility with a group of unusually active residents. Most states have CCRC listings that indicate what facilities provide and pricing information. Here is Washington’s list — tinyurl.com/45kd6sdt. And here’s a link for Oregon: tinyurl.com/2t5a2rb3.

Decisions decisions decisions

So many considerations go into making the decision about where to age it’s difficult to create a matrix that fits everyone. But some aspects of thinking are the same: of course place is critical. What kind of weather do you want? Do you want to be close to family or friends? Do you want or need access to urban cultural offerings? What about transportation options when or if you finally turn in your car keys (groan)? What about robust medical coverage? And, of course, financial considerations can be a worry. (Some nonprofit CCRCs do offer financial assistance, though this seems rare.)

I have a long-time friend who just lost her husband after 32 years. She’s rethinking her life. I have other friends who left a beautiful home with a large workshop in Albuquerque, New Mexico to move to a CCRC in Santa Fe. They were able to get on the ground floor of a newly built facility and found a workshop space just down the street for the still-active artist in their marriage. Though they are able-bodied, the woman is several years older than the man, and they just decided the time was right.

But what is the right time? Everyone I’ve talked to about this period of elderhood has said, “Make the move sooner than you think. Don’t wait.” It’s certain that if you wait until there’s an emergency you won’t have the peace of mind to plan a proper transition; and you probably won’t have the luxury of choosing the best option. If you wait, you’ll have only what’s available.

But making a conscious choice to move is so hard. No one likes change! We all, I think, want to live in our homes as long as we can, and assume the status quo will simply go on without a break. Unfortunately it doesn’t usually work that way. What generally breaks is a hip, an ankle, or a wrist.

I guess I’m also writing to nudge myself into a contemplative mode. Unless we as a community can come up with our own aging-in-place housing solutions or start our own fleet of professional Pacific County caregivers, we’ll continue to lose the wisdom and resources of our elders as they make hard choices to leave our amazing place on earth. Can we find some new answers?