Hell on Wheels

Published 4:00 pm Monday, January 21, 2013

<p>New recruit, or “fresh meat” Kelly Jacobsen reacts with the crowd to the halftime show of Saturday’s bout. Jacobsen, who is a teacher at Ilwaco Middle School, began skating with the team in June.</p>

ASTORIA It was the Red team versus Black team on Saturday as the Shanghaied Roller Dolls had a scrimmage at the Clatsop County Fairgrounds.

Made up of 14 roller dolls (or fast girls) and eight newbies (or fresh meat) from Clatsop and Pacific counties, the team hosted the event as a way to recruit more participants and showcase the fresh meat talent in a roller skate obstacle course.

Roller derby is most easily described as a strategic race in which one teammate called the jammer attempts to navigate through the pack of the opposing team in order to score points. Each team starts with five players on the starting line, with each teams jammer (wearing a helmet with a star on it) positioned last.

Once the whistle is blown, all of the other players pivots and blockers skate ahead and begin to defensively block the opposing teams jammer from breaking through the chaos. A jammer must complete her initial pass through the cluster of skaters, which then designates her as the lead jammer. The jammer then accrues points for any passes made after that.

While trying to prevent the other teams jammer from passing them, pivots and blocks are often simultaneously playing offense, hoping to help their own jammer get ahead of the group.

Each team is given two minutes called a jam to score their points. The game or bout consists of two 30-minute halves.

According to the Womens Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA), there are 400 leagues worldwide that participate in the sport, competing in a variety of suitable venues, such as parking lots, basketball courts, airplane hangars and skating rinks.

Ilwaco Middle School seventh grade humanities teacher Kelly Jacobsen is part of the teams fresh meat players in training membership. Women 18 years old and older can join the team as fresh meat to build their skills over a several-week training program. As soon as Jacobsen passes all of her minimum skills testing, she will scrimmage with the rest of the team.

For the past several months, she and seven other fresh meat have been learning the rules of the game and developing their skating skills, which she says is the hardest workout regimen she has ever done.

It is very structured and much more intense than I expected, she says of roller derby.

The nice thing is its for all types of girls, she adds. Its good for developing body image; it doesnt matter how little or big you are, its about athletic ability.

Jacobsen, a seasoned runner, said she has fond memories of roller skating in her youth and was excited to get back on the skates at age 47.

Its a lot like riding a bike. You will feel unstable, but you will be amazed at how quickly it all comes back to you. And I was told, If youre not falling, youre not doing it right because everyone falls. Dont be intimidated [if you want to try roller derby], the fast girls have worked really hard a long time.

To complete the fresh meat program, she will have to pass a written test and a rigorous physical test. Once she becomes a roller doll, she will earn a skater name.

Its a serious sport, she admits, after not passing the test the first time, But like my life, its a challenge and Im making this a goal. I said to myself, Am I going to be a quitter or put on my big girl pants and try it again?

When she returned to practices, she was welcomed with encouragement and support from her teammates. And thats what Jacobsen says she loves most about roller derby the comraderie that is fostered amongst a fairly diverse culture of women.

They are kind of my heros, she smiles. Im so impressed with their commitment and athleticism.

One of the referees on the track this weekend was 27-year-old Ocean Park resident Amanda Farmer, aka Scars Volta.

She started out in the sport two years ago when she was living in Las Vegas, and at the time, she couldnt imagine being in a bout, let alone a referee.

As a skater, before the bout, I mean youre so nervous and anxious, and pumped up and excited at the same time. You go to the bathroom every 10 minutes, because youre like, Im going to poop on the track.

When I first started, I couldnt imagine stopping, or skating backwards, or jumping over girls. Just lifting my skates off the ground scared me!

Even though Im a mom, I can rebel and be a badass on this track. I can wear fishnets, and my legs, they may be huge, but Ive earned these legs and Im going to slap fishnets and show off this huge bruise.

Due to recurring trouble from injuries sustained while serving in the Army, Farmer eventually she left her position as a skater and became a jammer referee. While she says she does miss skating in bouts, Farmer says she has found that her experience is beneficial in being a referee.

I have the insight of a skater, as a ref I know the rules, but I look at [the skaters] and think, Theyre going to try to do this because thats what I would do, she admits. Basically what were looking for is the obvious  you dont elbow somebody in the face or punch them in the face.

Other offenses whether intentional or unintentional that send skaters to the penalty box include tripping, low blocking, and back blocking, when a skater runs into the back of another skater and knocks her to the ground.

I think becoming a ref after being a skater was hard because I want to be in it, Farmer says.

As a ref, you have to have a thick skin, adds Farmer, who has been cursed at by skaters and coaches for the calls she has made. But as a referee, she has her own response to their complaints: You can yell all you want, but you can do it in the box.

My favorite part about roller derby is the sisterhood, she says. Thats such an overused thing, its so cliche, it sounds so bad, but really its amazing the friends you make for life.

You have such a rush, your mind is just flying along with your feet. Its just craziness. The adrenaline that pumps through you as a player is just unbelievable, thats why people get addicted to it. And you get to beat people up during the bout and then afterward youre buddying up afterwards and having beers together.

The team is currently going through the process required to be recognized by the WFTDA and continues to recruit more girls.

Were always looking for fresh meat, nonskating officials and refs, adds Farmer. Anyone we can get our hands on.

For more information about roller derby, log onto www.shanghaiedrollerdolls.com.

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