This is a problem that constantly confronts fishermen, and there are several things that you can do to try to remedy the situation. You can change the location of the boat, try a different type of bait, seek more or less current, a different depth, or pull anchor and try another day.

Last weekend was a particularly challenging weekend for most boats sturgeon fishing on the lower Columbia River. Yes, we caught some fish, a couple of sturgeon and many flounder, but it was not what you would call a productive day.

My clients consisted of a group of 16 guys from Twin Falls, Idaho with a yen for fun, an unquenchable thirst for Coors Light and huge sandwiches. There was no bitching or moaning; the air was continuously filled with sounds of laughter.

About noon, these guys who make the trip to Ilwaco an annual event, come up with their own version of Fear Factor as a source of entertainment.

To start things off, they take up a collection of $70 for Bill Couch to eat a whole anchovy (bait), no problem, the money goes in his pocket, and then they start handing out $20 bucks for anchovy shooters.

Just to show that he was a bigger man, Ken Magdan then chewed up an anchovy for free. Ken Fuchs then takes a pot for eating 12 pickled eggs in a very short time, and Gary Baum, also an egg lover procures the nickname of ‘gas man’, for undisclosed reasons.

Not to be outdone, Brad Rider agrees to lie down in the fish box, with the sturgeon for 10 minutes with the lid shut and collects a hefty sum of $60 for his efforts. Now mind you, these guys are ‘in control’ while planning and executing these events to entertain themselves.

The last event in their sequence of events has Pat Anderson eating one-half can of Copenhagen to take the top prize of $80, and believe it or not, he never got sick.

The group let it be known that the Long Beach Tavern was their favorite haunt on the Peninsula and promised to return next year with a new format for their wild and crazy games. Guys, it was great to have you aboard and hope that we have more productive fishing next season.

Nautical OriginsColors, True Colors, False Colors, Flying Colors – The flag flown by a vessel indicating its nationality was referred to as her colors. Long before radios, you can imagine how important this might have been, especially when engaged in battle. False colors were sometimes flown to avoid capture or to approach unsuspiciously. This was frowned upon in international law, wherein it is accepted as a ‘ruse of war’ only if the ship is in immediate danger.

Ron Malast is owner/operator of the charter boat Big Dipper operating out of Pacific Salmon Charters in Ilwaco.