Let not the sands of time get in your lunch

“Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.”

So reads a one-liner recently e-mailed to me. Got me to thinking about Dad and the situation he’s in, and about the determination that has carried him this far. To briefly review from two weeks ago, Dad’s here, in a new community, different home, and experiencing some dynamics unfamiliar to him … including failing health. But Dad has always been, well, Dad – quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) determined to take care of everything, make decisions, and stick to them. He is not about to let the sands of time get in his lunch! And though he also experiences another one-liner (“Reality is the only obstacle to happiness”), he will nevertheless make his life work in the here and now.

Any senior centers in the area? They often have a variety of activities and a calendar of events for the month. Look to your directories or phone books. (And remember, if you don’t know where to start, your local Senior I & A is a great place … end of plug). How about senior nutrition sites? A lot of our folks really enjoy having lunch at the congregate site – gives them a nice hot meal and a chance to catch-up on all the local gossip – uh, news. And again, a copy of our Senior Resource Directory (ok, one more plug) makes for interesting reading and could offer Dad information regarding where he might want to jump-in.

Becoming involved in the community will also enable him to plan, at least tentatively, for the future. He might be able to sneak a peek at some assisted living facilities – just as information, you know, and meet some the people there. And just as a note of caution, family: Simply because Dad’s looking doesn’t mean he’s giving anything up or is trying to hide how he really feels. Just part of knowing what’s out there. And if he decides that maybe he does want to live in some other situation? What if he thinks maybe an assisted living place might be a good idea? The truth is, Dad may know more about himself than he’s sharing – or again, it may be just good planning for the future. As we’ve said before: It is Dad’s life after all is said and done. (Remember honoring dignity and choice.)

A final word: Dad’s family really truly loves him and cares about him. That’s why they wanted him closer and why they continue to check in, call and worry. Allowing Dad to live as independently as possible is a hard thing when you care so much it makes you want to jump-in and “make things easier.”

Where he might really appreciate help is in following his lead, finding the information he wants, and being supportive rather than directive.

After all, it’s his sand…and he’s been keeping it out of his lunch a long time.

Senior Information & Assistance

Ilwaco: 642-3634/(888) 571-6558

Raymond: 942-2177/(888) 571-6557